Long Hours
by littlemissbig
Summary: Severus feels desperate and it's up to Harry to make him see sense.


Title: Long Hours  
Characters: Harry Potter/Severus Snape  
Word Count: 1295  
Rating: rated because of dark themes  
Summary: Severus feels desperate and it's up to Harry to make him see sense  
Author's Notes: My first ever fanfiction. It's not the best but more importantly I know it's not the worst... so there. (Oh I don't own it or anything to do with it either)

Long Hours

There were reasons why he hated teaching: these included the sheer stupidity of the brats as well as the confidence they always had that they were correct in all matters. However the reason he detested the most was the fact that he was expected, by Dumbledore, to work long hours.

It was not enough that he had to teach, give detentions, supervise his house…no he also had to attend regular Death Eater meetings. He had come to dread the tightening in his arm that heralded the fact that the Dark Lord wanted him. He was on a constant alert, as when he found that he was a spy working against him, he was good as dead. The threat of this looming over his head was almost too much to bear.

Severus often felt himself exhausted after one of these days. Sometimes the pressures of his job were too much to handle. Many were the time that he thought that it would be easier to end it. To finish what many others hoped would happen. He didn't doubt that his death would cause many to smile.

These thoughts prompted Severus to pick up the silver tipped dagger. Symbols of his Death Eater status, given out by Voldemort and dipped in a fatal potion. After all the chance that he would be compromised and interrogated was too high to leave alone.

Severus laughed bitterly, this would be his way of freeing himself from all those who used him to suit their goal. _I am no one's slave._

He tilted the blade and in a sort of trance became fixated on the colours it made on the cold stone. Still fascinated by the swirling colours he brought the blade towards his heart only to be shocked by the shouted out explanation of…

"No!"

The blade dropped to the floor with a clatter and was immediately snatched up by Severus' unexpected visitor. He glared at Snape accusingly and all Severus could do was slump back into his seat and stare at his empty hands. He didn't want to talk or even look at Harry because if he did he would probably lose all sense of emotion and let loose what he had been keeping hauled up inside him.

Severus felt rough hands on his shoulders, pulling him around to face him. But he kept his head down away from the probing eyes, finding it hard not to shout out and rave at the boy for disturbing what was going to be a perfect end to it all.

"Look at me. I said LOOK AT ME!" Harry shook Severus in time with his words, however they didn't seem to have any effect on him, he just the continued staring at empty palms.

"Go away." This was whispered and said in a pleading voice that Severus hated as it made him look weak.

"No. What do you think your doing?" Harry's hands moved from Severus' shoulders and into his hair, all the while stroking his cheeks, trying to force his gaze upwards.

Severus remained stubbornly silent, refusing to do anything that would class him as actually responding to Potters ministrations. He felt heat go through his cheeks as he felt Potter's thumb. This was an unorthodox situation. Potter shouldn't even been out of his dorm room, let alone in Severus' own quarters. He pushed Potter away and stalked over to his bedroom, hoping that Potter would take a hint and leave. He still held the knife so Severus knew that he couldn't carry out his plan tonight.

"Severus…" The fact that Potter had the gaul to use his first name brought the rage that was under the surface to explode.

"I did not authorise you to enter my quarters and I did not say you could use my name." Severus shouted this as loud as he could and winced slightly as the sound vibrated against the stone walls. "Leave before I decide to punish you."

"I'm not leaving." Severus hated the stubborn tone that was evident in Harry's voice. "I won't let you hurt yourself."

"You don't have any say in how I manage my life. None at all."

"I think I do. I'm part of the reason why you think you should do this, aren't I." After getting no response he continued. "Because of me people are going to die, people I don't know. I don't want you to be one of them."

Severus looked up at the downcast face. There was obvious tears dripping down Potter's face and Severus felt odd that it was him that had caused them.

"It has nothing to do with you." He said this in a voice as close to soothing as he could manage. Potter's head jerked up in reaction to Severus' words.

"Don't lie to me. Do you think I could handle it if you did this? You are the reason that I carry on, that I listen to the shit Dumbledore pours out and the reason why I'll face Voldemort. You are my strength, don't give up."

Harry was pleading with Severus to let him in. He knew that the snarky Potions Master was balancing on a thread and he knew that he needed to get through to him. He got closer to a stunned looking Severus and placed his hand on the taller man's shoulder.

"Do it for me?" He stared directly into the others eyes and moved slightly closer, letting a whisper of breath float across Severus' lips.

With a growl he lunged forwards pressing demanding kisses along the thin lips and across his jaw line. Harry felt Severus' restraint go after a while of gentle pressure and he grabbed him and held on for what seemed dear life. All the emotions he had been bottling up inside him whooshed out in a despairing stream of agonised denial, even whilst somewhere deep down inside his most guarded private self there was a deep burning pain at the thought of just how very, very much he wanted Harry's total commitment for himself.

Harry was thinking the same sort of thing. The pain of his own self-knowledge was virtually unbearable. Harry ached for him to simply take him in his arms and hold him safe, to keep him safe for ever, and yet at the same time his own self-conditioning was urging him to deny and deride those feeling to protect himself.

"Well I think that's a reason why you shouldn't do anything." Severus was stunned and if Harry hadn't taken control and broken the kiss he knew they would still be absorbed deeply in each other.

Severus stared at him speechlessly, stunned and amazed at the unexpected turn in conversation. Just when he had started to manage to get his self-control into some sort of order and things had been rolling along in a pleasantly predictable fashion, with little left for him to do but watch as his smugness at dealing with the situation spilled over into dawning awareness of the messy inconvenience of something he had thought that he had personally generated, whether he cared to admit it or not, he found that the rug had been yanked from under his feet.

"This is wrong in so many ways Harry." Severus felt his last resistance break after this statement and rested his forehead against Harry's.

"Yeah, but it's a reason to carry on."

Severus nodded sharply at this and hung on tighter to Harry.

"It's a start." Harry grinned at this as it showed him that maybe Snape wasn't as much as an iceberg as everyone thought and that maybe something would happen with them. It was a high point for Severus as maybe his long hours would be worth it. Worth it for Harry.

The End


End file.
